DIVE BARS & GRAVEYARDS

LEARN TO DEAL WITH LIFE ALONE.

this is a pretty heavy subject, and i understand that, so i’m gonna try and simplify it as best i can for the folks on my social networking forums who think being a little bit lonely is the end of their young life. it took me 22 years to learn this shit the hard way, and i hope this puts things into perspective for you.

POINT ONE: you attract what you exude. do you understand what that means? if you are an emotionally unstable individual with issues galore and no motivation to change your own circumstances, this is what you will attract from both your friendly and romantic relationships:

• bullshit
• bullshit
• torment and pain
• more bullshit
• possibly a restraining order

if you’re wondering why all your friends suck and all your relationships fail miserably, take a moment to stop blaming others and look inward. if there are things you know you should be working on to better yourself, work on them. stop jumping into things without thinking, and putting yourself in situations that you know will make you unhappy. take time to fix yourself, to heal yourself, before looking for someone else to make you feel better. because if you can’t help yourself…no one else is gonna be able to, either. seek validation from YOURSELF, and yourself only. because once the person you relied on for this is gone, so is the good feeling. and that is your problem. 

POINT TWO: drop the ‘oh woe is me’ act. it’s okay to be unhappy about things, but do you know how attractive that constant negativity is…? IT’S NOT. focus on what you’ve got, rather than on what you don’t. it might not seem like much, but it’s yours. fucking make the most of it. be thankful. be humble. work hard, achieve. if it sounds a little bit difficult, it’s not. it’s actually REALLY difficult. but that’s the point. the universe only gives you what it feels you deserve. make peace with yourself. be okay by yourself. find even one small thing to smile about every day, and refer back to point one. you get what you put in; you get what you deserve. 

POINT THREE: a person can’t give you what they do not have within them to give. if you’re in what seems like a one-sided relationship, and you’re frustrated to a point of despair…it could be wiser to just walk away. walk away understanding that you tried, and even though it may not seem like it now, the other person tried as well. just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all that they have. understand that sometimes people don’t know how to love, or how to be there for someone else, or how to appreciate what’s right in front of them. but they will learn eventually, and even if it’s not with you, you’ll both hopefully eventually find happiness. but you have to want to be happy.

POINT FOUR: what’s simple is true. i’ve noticed that some of you have unreasonably high expectations and demands…stop that. learn to live with less and cherish it. learn the differences between want and need.

POINT FIVE: fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely or when it’s convenient. you may hurt someone, they may not understand why you don’t want to enter a relationship with them, but in time you’ll both come to realize it was for the best. unless he or she is a crybaby, in which case, how well would that relationship have worked out in the first place, huh…?

POINT SIX: the secret to love is loneliness. it really is. use this time to learn about yourself. test your limits, push your boundaries. you won’t be able to survive in a relationship until you are able to survive alone. i know people who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, and their romances are often shallow and stupid and i end up running over there at 3 in the morning with ice cream and a box of tissues, getting glared at like i have three heads when i say ‘maybe you should just be single for a while.’ well. you’re not going to be able to fully appreciate someones’ presence until you can appreciate an absence. you don’t have to believe me now, but we’ll see how you feel when you’re getting a divorce seven months into your marriage. 

(Source: lifeinthearctic)